Yakking for Argyll

Does anybody else think he looks like the Invisible Man fresh out of the bandages?

And by ‘Government’ I mean Westminster. At least up here we’ve actually got a government.

Alastair Darling is said to be furious because Gordon is determined - against strong opposition from the Treasury and the Bank of England - to spend an unbelievable amount of money to try and boost his personal approval ratings by launching a state loan scheme to support mortgages. Both expert bodies believe that it would be an expensive flop - and by expensive, we’re talking around forty billion.

It’s not long since we had the unedifying spectacle of the ousted Blair, coasting the world first class to create a ‘legacy’ for himself at our expense. Now we have his successor, unwilling to tax the ‘windfall’ profits of the oil companies (profits that have had little foundation in increased costs), but willing - nay, crazed - to spend unimaginable amounts of public money on the sort of desperate idea you get in a hot bath - and all in order to save himself.

This is fully obscene. What can we do to stop it? Nothing until the next election - but then…

And if, post Northern Rock and this current scheme (which must be stopped) we’re getting into forms of nationalisation - let’s start with transport and power - fast.

“Manchester is the city of rain,” Nemanja Vidic said, “… its main attraction is considered to be the timetable at the railway station, where trains leave for other, less rainy cities …”

And he’s been roundly criticised, hounded and, eventually, told to recant his words as being misquoted. Pity, it is not often that I’ve laughed out loud at a quote, especially one from a Manchester United Footballer. Sportsmen have often been derided for being dull witted, but this one, who seems to have more than the statutory ounce of intelligence, has been rounded upon for wit. I can’t help thinking that he is probably paraphrasing Dostoevsky, or more probably Chekov and most of the British Press have missed it. Would that not be an irony?

Oh no, but of course, we British don’t do irony any more, unless of course its the eight minute segment of our presentation at the closing ceremony at Beijing: showing the world how London scrambles for its buses.

Oh no, but of course, that was farce. Irony is something the Americans do, isn’t it?

Did you listen to her? Nuff said. Looked OK - if, unsurprisingly, overly grateful. But that voice. It screeched, it grated, it was irredeemably sharp and shrill. Intolerable. Unelectable. Then there’s the small matter of experience. Running Alaska for a couple of years is hardly a sufficient basis in understanding and experience for running the USA. And she may have to. McCain is not a young man, even in the extended lifespans of today. He is known to have a sudden, explosive temper. The stress of the presidency, should he be elected, on top of age and spontaneous blood pressure peaks makes it a real possibility that Ms Palin might assume the presidency itself. Now what abut that 3.00am call Hillary Clinton was talking about in the primaries? It’s never going to happen. The Obama camp will already be preparing for Joe Biden to silence her in the Vice-Presidential debates. For the sake of our ears, we must hope he lands a knockout blow fast.

Yesterday’s Independent published a ‘Podium’ article by Hillary Clinton headed: ‘If you supported me, then support Barack Obama’.

In it she says:
‘We need leaders once again who can help us show ourselves and the world that with our ingenuity, creativity and innovative spirit, there are no limits to what is possible in America.

‘Now this will not be easy. Progress never is. But it will be impossible if we don;t put a Democrat in the White House.

‘We need to elect Barack Obama, because we need a president who understands that Aerica can;t compete in the global economy by paddling the pockets of energy speculators while ignoring the workers whose jobs have been shipped overseas. We need a president who understands that the genius of America has always depended on the strength and vitality of the middle class.

‘Barack Obama began his career fighting for workers displaced by the global economy. He built his campaign on a fundamental belief that that change in this country must start from the ground up, not the top down. And he knnows that government must be about ‘we the people’ not ‘we the favoured few’. And when Barack Obama is in the White House, he’ll revitalise our economy, defend the working people of America and meet the global challenges of our times’.

Now - did she say anything like this in her ’supportive’ speech at the Democratic Congress? No chance. Her objective there was to protect her own interests for a future run, not to garner votes for a man she hopes loses to make way for her to have another shot for 2012. She said almost nothing then about the man and nothing with the heart of the remarks she wrote for The Independent.

Had Hilary Clinton said those things in America - where it actually counts - they could have been vote magnets. She says them here because she wants credibiilty without cost.

Why on earth did The Independent publish this? If she can;t say it at home she shouldn’t get space to say it here. This is lazy, thoughtless journalism from a paper that has taught to expect much more. Roger Alton left The Observer because he couldn’t see the digital future that is already changing news provision. This looks as if he can’t see far enough in traditional journalism either - io isn’t trying hard enough in his new post as Editor at The Independent. His card’s been marked.

Teeth getting knocked out. Chins being split. Eyes lost. Fractured ankles being played on. Brains being dulled. Or were they dull already? I’m not sure. As an Englishman who played hockey and rugby I can’t believe the level of personal danger posed by playing shinty. Its unbelievable to me that safety kit is not used by the entire shinty-playing population as a matter of routine. The Camanachd Association only require that shinty players up to and including the age of 14 wear helmets. Evidently, if they’re older it doesn’t matter much. Taking exams, working for a living, supporting families aren’t that critical afterall. No, ensuring the right levels of manly recklessness are sustained is absolutely critical to the popularity of the game. There’s no doubt, this is a gladiatorial sport. Oh, but hold on, Gladiators wore armour and helmets didn’t they? Hmm, they’re not men, they’re wee girls in comparison to your West coast shinty player! Read the rest of this entry »

So far not a voice in favour of this one. Everyone’s - reasonably - been focusing on the inevitable resistance from the celtic fringe nations, anxious both to maintin their traditional separate footballing identity and their own places in the World Cup. Nobody’s looked at the practicalities - and they knock it on the head. As it is, the managers of the national teams can’t get enough training time in because of te players’ club and league commitments. In 2012, the top clubs will have their usual home and European championships to add to their domestic league duties. Realistically, what sort of chance does any one-off manager have of getting players for even more training time away from their clubs - and the league itself will probably be in progress at the time.

The Independent’s Sportswriter of the Year, James Lawton, had a great argument recently for not having the traditional pro sports in the Olympic Games. He was talking about football, tennis and golf. His argument is that these sports have long had their own major pro-challenges, the Everests in their fields, the ones they dream of cracking. Think about the Claret Jug and the Green Jacket in Golf; the Slams and Grand Slam in tennis, the Jules Rimet World Cup in football. The Olympic Games, to these sports, are a side issue and the participants turn out ill-prepared and lacklustre performances that degrade the Games. (Andy Murray - take a long, low bow.) For the sports with a longer amateur tradition, the Games are a once-in-four-years chance of making history. Athletes focus and train for them over a four year period. Other Championships, even the Worlds, are part of their preparation for the big one. The Games are their lodestar. Lawton sees a profound mis-match between them and the pros with their eyes elsewhere. His analysis is good. So forget a UK football team - and forget football, golf and tennis in the Games.

It’s early texting, isn’t it? Otherwise we’d have been te’cks’ting.

The funniest thing in the fantastically thoroughly stage-managed finale at the Beiing Olympics came as the platform party left the central podium, after handing over the Olympic flag for London 2012 to Boris Johnson, Mayor of London. Symmetry ruled. The party left in pairs. The shaggy humourist stuck both hands in his pockets. This looked untidy against the perfect arrangement of everything else. The Mayor of Beijing, walking beside him to his left, noticed, thought - and acted. You’ve never seen anything so smooth, so fast-witted, so naturally diplomatic - so successful. He gently put his own hand on Boris’s back, all fraternal warmth. Boris had to take his own left hand out of his near pocket to reciprocate. One down. Then - immediately, with a flourish of brotherhood, the Chinese guy thrust his own left hand out across Boris’s body, offering a big, celebratory handshake. Well, what could Boris do? Out of the pocket came his right hand to complete the gesture. Job done. No sense of criticism, No request or instruction. Just the silkiest piece of manipulation ever. If you recorded the closing ceremony, Fast Back and have a look.

Hang on. Isn’t the heart of private enterprise supposed to be the old saw ’speculate to accumulate’? And isn’t investment the key to speculation? Not for our feather-bedded UK Government contractors. BAE Systems, due to delver HMS Astute to Faslane in Argyll by the end of this month, has been awarded a fifteen year contract by the MOD to supply ammunition to British troops. The contract is worth £3 billion and includes £120 million which - “allows BAE to carry out much needed modernisation work on munitions factories in the UK, some of which are relying on machinery dating back to the Second World War”. And we’re investing serious public money in irresponsible management like this? And what about the safety of the areas surrounding these dodgy munitions operations - in Birtley, County Durham; Glascoed, South Wales; and Radway Green in Crewe?

Charlie Blakemore, MD of BAE Systems’ Land Systems Munitions wing, says - gaily, of their long obsolete set up: “You can imagine that, with the rate of production we are now at, it’s been some achievement to keep that going in that period to make sure we deliver on time’.” It’s been in your unsafe hands, mate - or more accurately, in your bank.